


Some Problems Don't Just Leave

by toffeemugg



Category: Super Paper Mario (Game)
Genre: Fan Made Backstory, Other, Post-Canon, at all, dimentio goes to hell before he dies, this isn't a redemption story he doesn't get redeemed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-24 05:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18162005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffeemugg/pseuds/toffeemugg
Summary: So basically, Dimentio "dies" and is sent to the Underwhere. But he realizes hey, being "dead" is boring, why don't I go bother my friends?And he does.





	1. Prologue

Dimentio lay on the ground, his cloak tattered and mask cracked. He tried to prop himself up on his non-existent elbows and stare at those damned heroes that defeated him.

“How… how did you do it?” he demanded. He winced in pain. That explosion really did a number on the magician.

“How could I have lost with the power of Luigi and the Chaos Heart…?” Dimentio's voice was shaky in disbelief. Only moments ago he was this close from destroying the heroes and recreation the world in his image. He glared at each and every one of the heroes. Peach, Bowser, Mario, and Tippi.

“And the prophecy…” Dimentio dug his fingers into the palm of his hands. _“Has it been undone?!”_ His breaths were shaky. He was going to die if he didn't do something soon.

Peach took a step forward. “Maybe,” she said in her soft, yet firm, tone, “maybe your prophecy was wrong all along.” Mario nodded silently in agreement.

Bowser let out a sharp laugh. “You believed in your prophecy, and we believed in mopping the floor with you!”

Ah, Bowser, you're quick to hit hard and jab insults.

Dimentio knew that for a fact first hand.

Tippi, the Pixl, was next to speak: _“Nothing is decided entirely by fate, you know,”_ she said. Her voice was metallic. A trait of any Pixl. _“All things determine their destinies.”_ She floated down towards Dimentio. He looked up angrily at Tippi.

_“_ _Goodbye, Dimentio. We'll add a footnote to the prophecy about your failure.”_

Dimentio looked down at the pitch-black floor. Something bubbled up inside him and he started laughing. At first, it was a weak little chuckle. Until it grew to a maniacal laugh.

“You think this is the end?” he asked. “ _Oh ho ho…_ this isn't finished…” He shook his head, the bells on the end of his hood jingling.

“You can't… stop this now… you can't escape…” Dimentio weakly raised one hand, holding himself up with the other.

“I've been saving one last surprise!” he cackled. He looked at the heroes again, a wild grin appearing on his magic mask.

“Ciao!”

He snapped his fingers.

The Chaos Heart went flying in a flurry of explosions.

So did Luigi, landing on the floor with a thud.

The explosions encompassed Dimentio, his wild cackling echoing throughout the large room.

And then everything went black.


	2. Chapter I - Fog and Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tragic "accident", Dimentio winds up in the Underwhere. But it's awfully boring, so he finds a way to escape. Unfortunately, his teleportation spells don't work that deep underground. Mayhaps the Queen can help him?

"Hey. Hey, buddy. Wake up. Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you’re going to sleep in forever!”

Dimentio groaned and shifted. The voice barked again:

“Hey! Clowny! Don’t make me kick ya!”

“Who are you… ungh-- who are you calling a ‘clown’?” Dimentio said. He opened his eyes to two ghosts looking over him.

“You’re finally awake,” the one on the left said. The one on the right scoffed.

“Yeah, _finally._ What took you so long anyways? Died in your sleep or something?” the right one said.

“That’s a weird set of pajamas if he did. Who wears a clown suit to sleep?” the left one replied.

“I am not a clown!” Dimentio snapped, standing up. The weight he put on himself didn’t hurt like it used to.

“Oh really? Cause you look like one to me,” Right Ghost said.

Dimentio dusted off his cloak with a huff. “You see, I am not a clown. I am the pleaser of crowds, the charming magician! I am…”

He struck a grand pose.

“...Dimentio!”

The two ghosts shared a look of confusion. Who was this fool, acting with such grandeur? The Left Ghost titled their head to the side.

“Dimenti-who?” they asked.

“Never heard of him,” the Right One shook their head. Dimentio scoffed and returned to his normal stance. He supposed not everyone knew of his importance, not yet at least. That would change in due time, he figured. He returned to the two ghosts.

“Regardless, where am I? This place looks as dreary as an ocean with no water,” he said. The Left Ghost looked around.

“You’re in the Underwhere,” they stated calmly.

“That means you’re dead, buddy!”

Now that they mentioned it, the place did look like what the Underwhere was supposed to look like. Stalagmites and Stalactites hung from nearly every opening. Fog was everywhere and there was a greenish tint to everything. It even smelled like rotting flesh a little. Dimentio shook his head and held up his hands.

“I’m sorry, I can’t be dead. I cast a teleportation spell, and--”

“Whoa-ho-ho, buddy, calm down! You’re dead! Otherwise you wouldn’t be here!” the Right Ghost said. The Left Ghost tapped the Right Ghost’s shoulder. The Right Ghost glanced at the Left One.

“Uh, maybe he’s a special one? Remember those two mustached dudes a couple days ago?” the Left Ghost suggested. The Right One groaned and swung their head back.

“UGH. Now we gotta send the message to Her Majesty that some… freak is down here!” they whined. Dimentio narrowed his eyes. The Right One took a few steps and turned around.

“I’ll go tell the Queen, keep the freak company, will ya?” they called as they headed for the Queen. The Left One turned back to Dimentio.

“So, uh, what’s your deal? Why’d you end up in the Underwhere, and not the Overthere?” they asked. Dimentio hummed and brought a finger to his mask’s chin.

“Well, I couldn’t think of any reason. I’m a practically a saint!” he giggled. He smiled and shook his hand.

“No, no… maybe it was being in cahoots with the Count. Or, maybe it was because I wanted to destroy all worlds and make a new one in my own image,” he rambled, tapping his chin.

“Or that I wielded the Chaos Heart for my own bidding.”

The Left Ghost shook, fearful. Why’d they have to be stuck with a lunatic while the other went to Queen Jaydes?! Dimentio noticed the Ghost’s shaking and laughed.

“Oh, you’re hilarious! But, unfortunately, I didn’t destroy the worlds I wanted to. I got stopped by these ‘heroes’ and fled here,” he finished. He spread his hands with a grin.

“The end!”

The Left Ghost nodded slowly. They gestured to the river not too far from themself.

“Maybe we could go closer to the palace, so the other doesn't have to walk back as far?” they suggested. Dimentio glanced upwards and hummed.

“I don't see why not,” he said, floating past the Left Ghost. The Left Ghost sighed and followed Dimentio a few steps behind. Dimentio passed an undead corpse wearing a hat and floated over the purple waters. The Left Ghost stared at Dimentio from the shore.

“Alright, fine, go on without me!” the Left Ghost shouted. They turned to the undead ferryman.

“New perssssson?” the ferryman hissed. The Left Ghost nodded with a sigh.

“He's an ass, too,” they said. The ferryman laughed.

“He'ssss certainly ssstrange,” he replied, leaning onto his pole.

 

Dimentio stared down at the purple waters below him. It reflected off a purple glow onto the jester and he could see large boney hands underneath the water's surface. Whoever would swim in those waters certainly would be crazy. He looked up and forward to see a large building in the distance. It had pillars holding up the roof and a few undeads milling about. He started lowering as he reached the shore, but never stopped hovering. Some of the undeads stared at Dimentio in either shock or disgust. Some never looked up from their work. Eventually, after a flight of stairs, Dimentio reached the topmost room. At the top of the stairs was the Right Ghost, waiting.

“You?!” the Right Ghost gasped as they noticed Dimentio. Dimentio bowed quickly.

“'Tis I.”

“I thought you were with the other!” they whisper-shouted. Dimentio waved his hand dismissively.

“I was bored, so I went to go investigate myself. So! Where's the Queen?” he asked. The Right Ghost pointed to a large throne at the end of the room.

“She's there, but she's busy at the moment, so-- uh, hey! What do you think you're doing?!” the Right Ghost shouted. But it was too late, as Dimentio was already headed for the Queen.

 

The Queen was talking with an undead who was dressed similarly to the others outside. She had a large crown and nose, and had magenta hair that flowed to the floor. She wore a black dress that also flowed to the floor, but seemed stylishly tattered at the end.

“...and we need to raise security measures, yes. Don't want Gramby to be after me again after the Bonechill incident. And--”

“Y-your majesty…”

“What?” the Queen asked, looking up. She noticed Dimentio.

“Who are you, daring to barge into my presence like this?” she demanded. Dimentio grinned and landed on the floor.

“You're the Queen, correct? I require an audience with you,” he said. The Queen narrowed her eyes, suspicious, and dismissed the undead.

“And you are?” she repeated. The undead scampered out the throne room and down the stairs.

“Oh!” Dimentio clapped his hands. “I am so glad you asked. I am the pleaser of crowds, the charming magician, I am… Dimentio!” He posed but returned back to the Queen quickly. She looked confused. Dimentio cleared his throat.

“Now, I'm looking for a way out of here,” he said. The Queen raised an eyebrow.

“You can't leave the Underwhere. Once you die, you're here or in the Overthere for good,” she said. Dimentio shook his hand, repeating a tsk noise.

“You see, I am not dead! I simply teleported myself here in my most dire hour, and now I need to return,” he explained. The Queen squared her shoulders.

“Then shouldn't you be able to teleport yourself back, charming magician?” the Queen asked. Dimentio laughed.

 _“Ah ha ha ha,_ it's not that simple. I supposed you of all people would understand, your highness,” he explained, “the Underwhere is so deep underground, I would need to be in a higher layer to actually get somewhere. It's like… a magic insulator! Yes, yes…”

The Queen sighed. She rubbed her temples and thought for a quick minute.

“Why do you need to leave? I need a good reason, or else I would have people coming to me every second asking to leave,” she said. Dimentio gestured to nowhere with his hand.

“You see, I have unfinished business. I promised… my dear friends… that I would help them find their lost home again,” Dimentio explained, adding in some sniffles in case the explanation wasn't enough. “When I left, I didn't mean to leave them forever!”

The Queen took his explanation and mulled it over.

“Well, if you die and _didn't_ fulfill your promise, I'd have to do something about it. But I can't punish for what has never happened,” she hummed. She waved her hand.

“I don't trust you, 'Dimentio’. But if it means you try to redeem yourself, I'll let you go,” she said. Dimentio smiled. His lie worked! Frankly, he thought he was gonna have to escape.

“But!” the Queen's sharp interjection rang across the room. “If I find you didn't fulfill your promise when you die, you _will_ be punished. Understood?” Dimentio hovered off the floor and nodded. The bells on his hood jingled and he bowed.

“Oh, of course, of course! I'm practically famous for keeping my promises,” he said. The Queen got up from her throne and opened a door behind it.

“This leads to the surface. Just… be quick about it, alright?” she said.

But Dimentio was already at the door.

“Yes, yes, sure thing, your highness!” he sang, opening the door. He took a step into the inky darkness and slammed the door behind him.

Queen Jaydes sighed and rubbed her temples. She didn't like the feeling that Dimentio fellow gave her. He wasn't trustworthy, and Jaydes had a sneaking suspicion she made a horrible mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. But, I wouldn't expect consistent updates. I try to bring the best possible content, and deadlines don't really work well with me. Let's hope for the best!


End file.
